It was so disorienting, staring into the white fog. We had driven an hour north along the coast of Oregon, hoping for a view from a picturesque vista.
Instead, standing at the fence a yard before the cliff, I felt simultaneously as if a curtain hung inches away from my face and as if I gazed into a white expanse that was utterly without end. As I stood there and took it in, I sensed a middle depth, too—the lapping of water rose to my ears, the sound of the ocean meeting the beach hundreds of feet below us.
Facing that fog felt a bit like I feel writing this newsletter. At times, I know exactly what I want to say, and at others, I wonder whether I've ever had a defendable position for any of my research processes.
But then, sometimes, I remember to think of how I've taken on intractable, not-yet-understood problems before, and it always feels like this. It's tough to do, especially when I've internalized the capitalism that tells me I am only as worthy as my output. Thankfully, my first experiences with such intimidating projects was in the company of excellent colleagues at NPR, and we fumbled through it together.
From those experiences, I've learned that the beginning of a big project is full of uncertainty and wandering about. So I'm trying to give myself grace and follow my curiosity, knowing that it'll all make a lot more sense in retrospect. We started this newsletter with a series on the people of UX research, and now I’m challenging myself to choose the subject of each issue more freely, at least for a few weeks.
This week, I'm reading a book that somehow manages to be both dense and approachable. The Foundations of Social Research by Michael Crotty races through the history and relationship of dozens of ways of thinking about how we know what we know, from the broadest concepts of epistemology to specific methodologies. Big ol' made up words abound, from objectivism with positivism and post-positivism, to constructionism with pragmatism and hermeneutics, to even more that I haven't yet gotten to encounter.
Sometimes, reading this academic text feels like I'm indulging in something too distant from UX research. Other times, it feels like this is exactly what I need to be learning. And at yet others, it just feels fun. I play with how I read, using prolific marginalia and skipping around and rereading. As I take it in, I get excited when I find places that make me laugh with the joy of learning something new.
I hope you're finding some similar grace and joy in your own work these days, amidst the uncertainty we all certainly feel.
Mentioned in this issue: The Foundations of Social Research by Michael Crotty.