For awhile, my kid has understood that there are such things as jokes, but not how to tell them. He’ll say something completely unrelated to humor, like, “These strawberries are red,” and then immediately follow it with, “Get it, RED???” It’s so funny watching him slowly put together the elements of how jokes work.
But then the other day, he told me he first “real” joke. “What time is it when the clock says 13?” he asked, with this eyes glittering. Obligingly, I replied, “I don’t know. What time is it when the clock says 13?” He replied, very pleased with himself, “Time to get a new clock!”
I was so taken by surprise at his leap in comedic skill, I laughed big. I suspect he memorized the joke from a kids’ podcast that he loves, and that makes it all the better that he picked the joke out himself.
Earlier this week, I added to my Instagram stories a post that said this—
“every single person you know has something in their life and past that is probably worth collapsing to the ground in an uncontrollably sobbing heap over, so be nice to each other and tell good jokes”
I follow a lot of accounts that talk about feelings and self acceptance and community care, and their content is usually pretty serious, even when they’re talking about joyful things. So I was taken by surprised with this post, and let out a good guffaw as I finished reading it. I shared the post to my stories, and echoed its lovely whimsy with the caption “Tell good jokes.”
The next morning, a friend replied to me with, “Jokes, dammit.” Whether we’re dealing with interior or exterior turmoil, I couldn’t agree more—and that’s why I’m writing this Finding Out issue as a break from serious contemplation.
When I was a teenager or so, I made up my own joke. I don’t remember how I came to put it together, but I do remember telling it and being pleased with folks’ laughter. “What do you call it when a pumpkin falls off the porch?” I’d ask. “I dunno, what?” they’d answer, and I’d look them in the eyes, wait a beat, and then answer, “Squash.”
In college, a friend introduced me to elephant jokes. Elephant jokes are a strange flavor of joke with surrealism at their core.
Q. Why is an elephant large, gray, hairy, and wrinkly?
A. Because if it were small, white, hairless, and smooth, it’d be an aspirin.
My favorite elephant jokes build on one another in a series.
Q. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead.Q. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A. It was tied to the first elephant.Q. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A. It thought it was a game.Q. Why did the tree fall over?
A. It thought it was an elephant.
But my favorite joke of all time is a silly one that I suspect I learned from a joke book.
Q. How do you make a hankie dance?
A. Put a lil’ boogie in it.
Mentioned in this issue: Story Shed, my kid’s favorite podcast; this tumblr post encouraging jokes; and my college classmate’s list of elephant jokes, plus the Wikipedia article on elephant jokes which has lots more good ones (some in both have aged a bit).
PS: Tell a pal a joke today!
PPS: If your appetite for jokes has been whetted, the 2021 Ghostbusters movie, Ghostbusters: Afterlife, might help out. In a side plot, socially awkward Phoebe, played by Mckenna Grace, is working on being more sociable. Her experience is so relatable and her jokes are an absolute delight.